Under Your Radiance...

Karat gold bracelets
and sterling silver rings...
ubiquitous, yet inadequate.

Raven opals and ivory pearls,
utramarine sapphires and scarlet rubies...
I do not see their value.
No, not even the richest of silks.
Undeniable are their worth but
nothing when compared to you.
Such as the flowers are to the sunlight,
under your radiance, I bloom.

My life is complete
as long as I see your
unpretentious smile...

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Voldie Wins!!!

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Whaaat?!

$4355.00
I am only worth that? Really? T_T

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Potterdammerung...

This is a must read for those who have already read "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"

http://diogenes-sinope.blogspot.com/search?q=potterdammerung

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Of lovers and quarrels...

Perhaps that was it…

Over. Everything was over…

On and on then nothing. But…

Kisses and tears are parts of love...

I understand now…

Evening comes. We are one again…

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Ask a stupid question...

I tried really hard not to notice it. I really did. I tried to face away. I tried to run. It was useless though, my efforts I mean. FUTILE! I kept pretending. I must not appear weak. NEVER! I should never show any signs that emotions have a great control over me. If I could, I'd turn my heart to stone. OH! But the pain... If it were up to me, I'd be all gray and my voice would be monotonous. I must never be exposed. NEVER! If there should be any signs shown, it would be my downfall, my destruction. But still. It was still too much for me. My voice wavered. My mind was slowing shutting down. My heart was in control now. NO MORE! If It willed it, I would have spilled all my emotions in a gush of words. Then I would be destroyed. My weakness was exposed. Every word receive was like an insult. Painful. Every pause in sentences seemed like a thousand years. I felt eyes all around me. Watching me. Criticizing me. Every movement a mistake. Every breath a taboo. There were people in my head. A million, I think. And more was coming. NO! Enough. But still, they came. Everyone talking, everyone yelling. SHUT UP! They talk louder. I wanted to cry. I can't. My mind, realizing the danger, tried to re-establish control. Too late. They were in control. Every thought was scrutinized. No more thought passes from my mind. It gave up. They would not have allowed it anyway. It must only be emotions. Feelings. Too much. NO MORE! My muscles started to contract involuntarily. I shivered. It felt like the sun refused to shine. It did. Well, for me anyway. It left me in the cold and in the dark. STOP! Why was this happening to me? I'd been damned. Shallow breaths. I felt my pulse race. Fast. I'd be the envy of every racer, at the speed my heart was pounding. It had complete control of me now. My heart that is. Surely I've felt this before. I think I have. But... But not quite. It sure felt the same, but... PLEASE STOP! No, it was not the same feeling as before. What was it then? What emotion was I feeling? Or rather, what emotions. Yeah, I think there were more than one. Two, three? I dunno. SHUT UP! Will you please be quiet? No. The voices kept at it. At least say something useful... I know! I must have been dying. Yeah. That was it. Death. What? No. It wasn't death. Silence. At last, there was peace and quiet. I relaxed. Still cold. No one was looking at me. Not like they can. It was still dark. My mind was back on. Everything was back to normal, except for the cold and the dark...and... Where is everybody? HELLO! No one. There was just me. Alone... No. not quite. There was someone. I couldn't see, I felt. I tried to call out. HEY! No one answered. But someone is out there. I knew it. I felt it. HEY! I know you're out there. Come out. I stopped. I realized I was not making any sounds. I opened my mouth. I tried to speak. Nothing. Then out of nowhere, someone was in front of me. I can't quite see, but surely, someone was there. Looking at me. Waiting. A moment passes yet it seemed like I lived all my life already and then some. Finally, I speak... Hi. I saw the sun peeking out in the horizon.

Well, if you asked me what it was like to fall in love, that's how I'd answer it. HEHEHE! Yeah, just think of how horrified the girls back in grade school were when they got their autographs book back. I'd have answers like that or anything to that effect when asked, "Love is ...." or "Life is ..." or anything like that. Thanks for reading my first short article. Keep up the patience.

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Pet Peeve No. 001

I must be possessed or I may have too much free time now. This is the second article this week. Hmmm... Anyway, I just thought of a brilliant idea. I figured out a way so I'd have a lot of topics to post. This will greatly increase the number of my articles and I mean greatly increase. Think, "Exponential growth". The idea that occurred to me is to talk about something that I have a lot of (this crosses out money). Also, I think I can get a lot responses from these topics, both from supporters and opposers.

I would like to warn people though. The things I'm about to say are my personal opinions. The opinions are based on what I've observed and on my experiences. We don't have the same experiences. Don't force it. We don't. Maybe the same flow of actions or words or events or feelings (and not all them at the same time thus the OR rather than the AND) but never the same consequences, circumstances and/or the impressions left afterwards. So if you agree with me, that's fine. Actually, that'll be great 'cause then that means I'm not as loony as I think. If you disagree with me, then go to hell. Noooo, wait. That's not what I was going to say. Something wrong with my script here...Hmmm...Wait... Ah! Right. If you disagree with me, then that's fine too. But remember, these are my experiences, not yours. My feelings, not yours. My thoughts, not yours. My interpretation, not yours. If you feel differently then okay, write a comment but don't flame my experiences or ideas or opinions. You weren't there when it happened, okay? So leave it be. Besides even if you did, you'd just be wasting your time. I wouldn't give a rat's ass what you think (that is if you're a flamer but any and every other person's comments will be welcome even if they are negative). So there, I've warned you. On to the topic!

As you can see from the title and perhaps perceived from the warning up there, the topics I've thought of are my pet peeves. I have a lot of these, and I mean a LOT. These are just rants. If in case you are one of the people I've got my pet peeves with, don't take it personally. You might be an exemption of the generalizations that I make. Besides, I'm one person living within a very limited range of land. The people, stuff, processes, or whatever that I talk of are those that I've been exposed to. You may live in a different area, city, country...planet and have different systems or procedures or manners and stuff. So don't take offense if I say something bad of the people that might include you. Like when I speak of, say, drivers. I only mean those drivers that I have fortunately or unfortunately met. If I say bad things about them, then it's their fault, not yours. I'm sure you're completely different from those... uhmmm... "people".

This is a bit hard to explain, I mean how the things I'm about to say is not to offend anyone. But it will, I'm sure of it. It's just that...uhm... Nope, can't find words to explain it. Maybe I'd just show you what I mean. Read the following article and maybe you'll get what I want mean.

Pet Peeve No. 1: Preemptive Sales people.

Yeah, I hate these people. I hate how they meet you at the entrance of the store and ask you what you want or what you're looking for. I hate how they keep repeating, "What are you looking for, sir?" or "What do you need, sir?". I get it! I know that they just want to help, that they want to make it easier for you to do your shopping but sometimes we enter a store to browse not to buy. Maybe we don't know what they're selling or don't even care. We just simply want to go in and see what they have, thus the "browsing". Isn't that the purpose why they bought these expensive glass shelves anyway? To display their wares so that people can choose and look at it freely? Also, do you really expect them to have memorize all the stocks and particulars of their merchandise? It happened to me quite a lot that when I go to a store and ask if they have this, they say no. But a little later, I come back ask a different person and then they say they do have that. Really, which is it? Do I have to this every time just to make sure that you either do or do not have this item?

Browse: Verb.
- to look through or over something casually: to look through or over something, especially merchandise in a store, in a leisurely manner with the hope of finding something of interest (Microsoft® Encarta®. Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.)

SEE!? That's what browse means. "IN A LEISURELY MANNER" meaning we just want to, calmly and in a very relaxed state, look through their merchandise. "WITH THE HOPE OF FINDING" meaning we possibly don't even know what we want in the first place or we may have no plans in buying in the first place. But then they swarm over to you cutting off your leisure time(and occasionally, your oxygen supply), and forcing you to think of stuff you could possibly want from their store. It's not like you did an inventory of their store before you went there. Really, what they're doing is NOT helping.

This is even worse when going through open stall boutiques. The ones where they have thin walls between them and have no doors but rather just three walls. They usually sell the same stuff too, maybe except for a few service offer or stock difference. Ayayayay! I feel my blood boiling now just remembering my experiences. Anyway, I particularly hate these kind of sales fiends. When you pass by, they all shout, "Come here sir!" at the same time. Sometimes you just happen to pass by 'cause it's the only path to get to the lavatory but the same thing happens. Sometimes I just want to shout back, "Uhhh...yeah, Can I piss in your store?" just to shut them up. I mean, they really really really piss me off.

And when you do enter one of the stalls, after the initial apprehension has passed, they will follow you around. That's okay, maybe they are killing two birds with one stone. They are "serving" their customers and protecting their merchandise from possible shoplifters. But the thing is it pisses the customer(and shoplifter). It annoys the customer 'cause they stick to you like gum on hair or Siamese twins. They leave very little elbow room to move around for you to see what they sell. They literally breathe down your neck as you pick objects up to see them clearly. Then they immediately state the price. "Uhh, like I care? I'm browsing, see? Right now, I don't care about the price, I just want to see if you've got good stuff here. Besides, I can see the price tag. I'm not blind." If you do ask them something, they most often refer the question to someone else and in spite your hearing the answer(since the person they asked is right behind you), they repeat it like you were deaf or dumb or something. You may ask more questions, but then they refer it to the person behind you. You might be better off asking the person behind you. But that person refuses to answer you 'cause they are doing something else currently and would refer you to the person that dogged you. EH? Isn't he/she just asking you what I... And you answe... so can't I jus... OH forget it.

Occasionally, you shake them off (after 30 minutes or so). So you can browse leisurely now. Though not much left to look at. You've seen most of the wares anyway but not leisurely and you may have lost interest in them. Disheartened, you leave but repeat the same process at the next store with the hope that this time, it would go better. You do this a couple more times then leave empty handed. That's okay if you didn't plan to buy anything anyway but kinda depresses you if did want to buy something.

Another scenario is that you do find something you like which usually happens after the SF left you because you took too long. Then you try to get their attention.
...
...
...
Nothing! What the fu..? Hey I want to buy this! Hello?! Yeah, this is what happens. When you want them, they suddenly become busy answering the phones or text messaging or they just don't take notice of you. Of course, eventually they notice you. They come to your "rescue". Then you ask for the price 'cause the tag is missing or if they have another color or do they have more of this. Some answers you correctly, though sometimes impolitely. Not even a smile to a possible customer. HMP! Anyway, that's the best and I think ideal scenario. But the more common one goes like this, "Uh, yeah... the price... uhmm... wait a moment, okay?" Then they go check from the person behind the desk. Then they come back. "It cost so and so." Then you ask if it has other colors. They then go back to the person behind the desk and asks again. They come back. "Uh yeah" they say. You wait. Awkward moment passes. "Well, can I see them?". There's a short pause here. It seems to me that they are contemplating of taking back the answer and saying no so that they don't have to go to the back and get the other colors. But they acquiesce and proceeds to the stock room. They come back and you choose, go to the desk person, pay, then leave. Really, how much help did I get from that SF? *Sigh*

Don't get me wrong. I've been to many store that has the best accommodations and services one could ever want and they leave the best impressions which makes you go back and do more business there. The things is, the bad service leaves a bigger impression. Their the ones that mar the industry of retailing. Also note that these things don't happen every time, only that it happens more often than you can tolerate(I think one is more than enough). They don't occur in a single day too. Sometimes you get the preemptive SF's but are well informed ones. Sometimes you don't meet any preemptive SF's but meet with clueless or lazy ones. My last message is, "More power to the good establishments and business. Keep up the good work. And for those who leave much to be desired, please, for the love of all that's Holy, improve."

So that's that. That's my first pet peeve though not necessarily my most annoying one, but simply because it's the first one that came to mind. There will be more to come (OMG!!! No more, please! No more!) and take note that they are not sequenced in any pattern. I hope you enjoyed this and thanks for reading. Keep up the patience.

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The Promised Second Article.

It's been a while, hasn't it? A week and a couple of days past since I last posted. It took almost all my being to sit down and write this second article. It's not like I don't want to write it, it's just that I know that if I start writing it, I would have to finish it. I'm that kind of person; takes a long time to start something, but once started that something is guaranteed to be finished. So I kinda feared that if I sat down and start to write (type...whatever), I will most definitely be forced (by myself) to finish it even if I can't for the want of words or time. That's okay you say. You don't need to finish it right away, you say. Right. Let me tell you something about me. If I stop, it will be a long time 'til I restart and even if I restart I loathe having to continue something unfinished 'cause by then my train of thoughts and ideas would have been long gone from the station leaving me behind with no way to catch up. I have a very poor memory. My memory retention skills are as good as gold retains water. Also, my motivations are very weak and only very seldom comes. Well, it would also be okay if the motivation to write the article came during times of leisure or where time and resources are plentiful. Unfortunately, I have had a very busy week and couple of days. Motivation and inspiration came during the times where I had to do the things I had to do, so I can't obviously write/type the article. Sometimes it came during time of leisure. Yeah, time of leisure... about five minutes after I feel sleepy. So I couldn't do it then either. So you see, making this article was a very hard thing for me to do. But all is well. I somehow started it so it is sure to finish.

Now to the real content of the article: Who I think normal bloggers are. That is, to say, what a normal blogger is. Mind you, this article is not to discriminate or derogate bloggers. It is simply my own opinion. Consider that as my disclaimer. Anyhoo, normal bloggers are people who either have trouble conveying what they feel or have too much feelings and, as I said in the previous article, people who are impulsive or those who are coerced. That's about the bare essential of my opinion of what normal bloggers are. Let me explain:

People who have trouble conveying what they feel tend to make blogs. They have trouble maybe because they're shy or that they just can't think of words when placed on the spot. Why blog? Well, where else can they express how they feel? Point One: It doesn't have to be a "right now" thing (as I have NOT done with this article). They can take all the time they want in making an article so that's less pressure already. Point Two: They can put anything, and I mean anything in their blogs. So if they have a hard time looking for words to express how they feel, they draw or sing or dance or whatever. Point Three: They can hide their identities. One thing about the net is that you can be anyone (this is both a good and a bad thing, but that's an article for another day). Some people are waaaaaay too shy. Writing/drawing/singing/dancing online can be made anonymously (provided that singing doesn't need to show one's face and the face can be covered during dancing for those who are extremely shy). So people can convey their feelings in anyway they want without having to reveal their identity. Point Four: These people can find others who sympathize with what they feel. People who read your blog will, no doubt, be someone like you or at the very least someone who understands you. Why would anyone read anything if he/she is not interested in it? Here enters a problem though. These articles can also bring flamers and haters (I will write an article about flamers/haters someday, remind me). An advantage to blogging is that you can ignore these flamers/haters like they never exist maybe even block them from ever commenting on your blog. Also, as a personal opinion, I think that being flamed online is less painful than being flamed in person. Flamers are strangers who don't know you so if they judge you, who cares? You don't know them so why take notice in what they say? They don't know you so their comments are baseless. They read one article and suddenly they act like they know every fiber of your being. Bovine manure! As for being flamed in person, that's harder to ignore. Also if it's in person, most probably you know the person or live near him/her or go to the same school or workplace. Since that person flamed you personally(I mean in person), then you know that that particular person doesn't like you or something about or you might develop a dislike towards that person. What if you become lab partners? Awkward. Very awkward. So blogging is a thing for the meek (when I say meek I mean shy not submissive) as they can be as overbearing as they want. Hehehe.

How is that different from a diary or a journal (same thing really, it's just that guys are so peevish when their journals are called diaries. But guys, really, they're diaries [Note: From here and now journals is also referred to when I speak of diaries])? Well, its because of Point Four. Yeah, you can take all the time you want to write in your diary (except if you're me). You can do anything in it except for singing or dancing but that can be easily remedied by using recordable media like tapes (video and audio) or discs as your diary. Unless you let people openly read from your diary, you can also hide your identity in a normal paper and pen diary. But finding sympathizers, friends, supporters or what have you is harder to do with just an ordinary diary. It's harder to share personally than with a touch of anonymity that gives you a bit of security and courage that you get from the net. I'm not saying that an ordinary diary is useless or not enough but hey, as long as you're doing it, why not do it online. Unless, of course. you have no intention of letting others see your feelings 'cause they're private and personal which would then make me think of the reason why you're reading mine, since you think that diaries should be personal. Go, shoo! Kidding, I'm kidding. Kind of unfair and a bit hypocritical of you to be reading this though. Since you're reading other people's blogs, why not share your own? Anyway, that's it about the meek and blogging.

People who have a lot of feelings (too much, if I should say so myself) also tend to make blogs. This only applies to those people who have the qualities of too much feelings and has the urge or, rather, the need to rant about it. Point One: Since they have too much feelings, they need outlets for these. They can be cheerleaders or spokespersons or evangelists or show hosts or news writers or that nut around the corner on a crate shouting that the world is coming to an end (of course it will. It can't last forever. Duh! [Don't...mind that]) or anyone that has the privilege of having other people listen to them and yet all that yelling and talk time is not enough to convey all that they feel. You'd think that they'd run out of things to say, but noooo. They seem to have an opinion on everything. They can feel sad and happy and angry and anxious and calm and hopeful and ...(you get my point) all at the same time. It's okay. No one's saying that's a bad thing but then they have the need to talk about it, to express it. Unlike the people above who are shy, these people are not at a loss of words or media. That's why blogging is a common thing to these people. It's another place where they can continue their ramblings. Also, I think these people say what they feel not only because they have to say it but maybe they need someone to either reciprocate, accept or argue about what they are feeling or expressing. They maybe be looking for someone to tell them that what they feel is right or that they share the same sentiments. They may also be waiting for someone to argue about it just for the sake of arguing or maybe for a reality check. Blogging helps them with these things. Point Two: A... no wait. I don't think I have a point two. Heh! Guess it's just point one then. By the way, those who are extraordinarily impulsive fall into the this category.

Now, for those that are sadly coerced. These people make blogs because they are forced to. Well not to the point that there's a gun and blackmailing involved but by another form of forceful convincing that involves a more sinister method: Peer Pressure. Yeah, I think that's more dangerous not to mention more evil if you ask me. That's the main reason why these people make blogs. Their friends tell them, "Hey make one so I'd have more subscribers." or, "It'll be fun, trust me." or, "Please! Please! Please! Please!" or, "Jessica (Wha? Who that?) won't invite you to her party if you don't make one." or, "Make one or die!" (okay, not that one but hey, it could happen) or whatever else they can say to make another do their bidding. So yeah, these people make blogs.

Anyway, that's my view on who normal bloggers are or at the very least who the pioneers of blogging were. Now comes the question on why I wasn't very keen on being called a normal blogger. Well you see, as a child (though I did not intend it or have any recollection of wanting it) I was very...uhm...weird. I kinda deviated (there's that word again) from everyone else. I was a bit "lonerish". Not to the point of becoming a hermit, but to some extent that I didn't look for company, and occasionally hated it. This led me to have queer habits, principles and philosophies. I didn't know that they were weird then. When I was growing up, I saw, observed and/or noticed from my friends, classmates and cousins that my habits were peculiar. I didn't conform though. I saw no need for it. Eventually, my peculiarities has given me things (no, I didn't have imaginary friends) like a greater number of miscellaneous information stored in my brain in spite of my poor memory, or that I can "judge" a person by looks (not really, it's just that most of my first impressions (which were loosely based on looks, voice, manner of speech, all superficial aspects you first notice in a person) of people were correct and I mean most like 9 out of 10. That was then.) or I was a lot more tolerable of unusual things and events like black outs or heavy rains because I can entertain myself (not that way, perv) without having to watch T.V. or go out. I was proud and still am (a bit) of my weirdness. That was why I tried so hard to start my blog differently from all others. I didn't want to have all that made me "special" go down the drain. *sigh*

Anyway, I realized though that by starting a blog, I was subconsciously acknowledging my "normalness". My writing that first article and how I wrote only proved that I have consciously acknowledge it. All that's left is my accepting it. Soon, maybe. I see now that being normal doesn't mean bad. Besides, this blog would only mean I am normal in one way. It doesn't mean I lost all my weirdness. Hehe..hehe...he... Yeah... Maybe I'll take comfort in this in some way someday.

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